Geeks and Nerds

When my three children were in middle school and high school, we had a discussion one day about "nerds". The discussion began when one of my children mentioned a child in her class who was very smart but"nerdy". I promptly went into "teacher mode" in order to educate my offspring on the merits of "nerdiness". I explained all of life's benefits that are bestowed on the well-educated and the non-conformists and ended my speech by telling them that the people they think are nerds will someday be very successful people. Unfortunately, now the joke in my family is that every time my adult children see a person who appears to be "nerdy" or "geeky", they say, "Look Mom, there's a very successful person". Although we joke about it, my children see now that I was right! It reminds me of something my friend Jennifer Hogan said to her high school students. She said, "You will never regret making good grades in school". It was a simple statement that packed a ton of wisdom in it. Have you ever thought, "Gee, I wish I didn't make all of those darn A's in school!"

Recently, I read a book called, "The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth" by Alexandra Robbins. It is a study on why outsiders thrive after high school. Robbins follows seven high school students in their struggle between individuality and inclusion. She uses the term "cafeteria fringe" to describe the students who are not the traditionally popular students. Robbins advises us to respect the significance of the cafeteria. She encourages educators to study the cafeteria, looking for socialization trends as well as psychologically harmful behavior.

I know I was correct when I told my children that the nerdy kids are often the most successful adults. However, I do not think we do enough to protect the "cafeteria fringe" from the hazards of being different in high school. This year, I am going to talk to the teachers at my school about this topic and encourage them to read "The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth". Teachers need to treat all groups of students equally, offer a safe haven to students having a difficult time dealing with the pressures of peer groups, and offer marginalized students the chance to be visible.